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embarrassments and battle scars
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We all have our embarrassing stories and stupid scars we gained both on and off the bikes so I suggest we share them.
I'll kick things off with the scars on my left shin, not bike related in any way. One night I was sticking the bin out and had to pack it down, so I decided the best way would be to climb onto the brick BBQ to walk across the other bin and jump on the one that was full. Well the other bin had been recently emptyed and squirted out from under me with one foot on the bin and one on the BBQ which led to my shin dragging and ripping and then landing arse first on the corner of the BBQ. Less than fun to say the least.
Now its your turn, lets hear them :D -
Once half opened a tin of soup, the lid fell inwards, I wedged my left middle finger between the half cut top section and the tin's sharp edge, I panick, I wave my hand about with said tin of soup latched on tight before my dad runs in and takes me to A&E.
Blood all up the walls of the kitchen, my mum came down to what looked like a scene from American Psycho and my dad reversing out the drive.
Lost a small section of bone from the top of my finger and 3/4s severed it. Now have a nice scar running most of the way round it! -
Was rushing to get to an exam so the only way to get to the ground floor quicker than waiting for the lift is to jump the flights of stairs.
Went through 19 of them quicker than you can blink. Mid air on the 20'th , the 18'th one decided to come back at me ( it was hanging low ). Bumped my head on the underside of a concrete step , knocked myself out , fell on my back with one of my feet trapped under me.
Woke up about a minute later with two fractures. Had to use crutches for 6 months.
Breaking it was the easy bit , setting it though ... picture your favourite Hitchcock scene. -
I have a fair few haha... Beginning when I was about 5 I found a razor in the garden and tried to shave like Daddy.... A&E ending.
A recent stupid one was having an argument with my ex wife when I was cutting vegetables and slammed the knife into the chopping board and my fingers went down the blade.... -
Jack said:
Was rushing to get to an exam so the only way to get to the ground floor quicker than waiting for the lift is to jump the flights of stairs.
Went through 19 of them quicker than you can blink. Mid air on the 20'th , the 18'th one decided to come back at me ( it was hanging low ). Bumped my head on the underside of a concrete step , knocked myself out , fell on my back with one of my feet trapped under me.
Woke up about a minute later with two fractures. Had to use crutches for 6 months.
Breaking it was the easy bit , setting it though ... picture your favourite Hitchcock scene.
ouch....
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One beautiful saturday after talking to Rusty on faceyB I skipped, nae, frollicked to the stairs of the converted stables i was living in, jumped over a wee box... which was over a low beam.. which had a one inch diameter rusty bolt head sticking out of it.
Ended up lying on the floor thinking i'd just proper banged it. alas it was not to be, blood everywhere on the cream carpet. decided to call an ambulance then thought i might pass out or forget the address so went to find a neighbour...
remembered to shut the door incase the cat got out. and locked it.
knocked on the the neighbours door and his twelve year old daughter answered it
quick trip to hospital to to sew the flap back on and all was well.
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Thats almost the same scar a guy I know got when he got hit with a machete...
proper whitey material.... -
Joshvegas said:
One beautiful saturday after talking to Rusty on faceyB I skipped, nae, frollicked to the stairs of the converted stables i was living in, jumped over a wee box... which was over a low beam.. which had a one inch diameter rusty bolt head sticking out of it.
Ended up lying on the floor thinking i'd just proper banged it. alas it was not to be, blood everywhere on the cream carpet. decided to call an ambulance then thought i might pass out or forget the address so went to find a neighbour...
remembered to shut the door incase the cat got out. and locked it.
knocked on the the neighbours door and his twelve year old daughter answered it
quick trip to hospital to to sew the flap back on and all was well.
I always thought that story was from your youth!
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naw
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My right foot is currently one big bruise having failed to mount someone's fixed gear shopper.
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i can actually confirm this^
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literallyoverthemoon said:
My right foot is currently one big bruise having failed to mount someone's fixed gear shopper.
it was reading about that that motivated this thread :P -
Watching that motivated me to laugh. Almost lost some beer in the process.
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i didn't realise that you sustained injury, ally. dang.
edit: also mightily hilarious. (sorry!) -
decided that on top of a pretty necklace i had given my mum this Christmas, i would also make her an additional wooden jewellery box. so on Christmas day, just before Christmas lunch i was in the garage shaving the edges of the lid with a chisel when it slipped and ended embedded in the top of my index finger. half up the nail. wrapped it, ate lunch, chatted, watched TV and ended up in A&E. fun fun fun
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Got over excited at polo a couple years ago and did this,
Facial scars are where it's at though. -
Once when I was wee, must have been about nine, I was racing my mate down one of the tracks on the farm I used to live on on a bike with amazingly bad brakes. There was a big rusty gate at the bottom and in my fervour to win the race I neglected to slow down at all. As the gate approached I tried to slow by sticking my feet down but needless to say it wasn't enough. So I thought that I could let my front wheel hit the gate and I would fly over the top gracefully and land in a parachute roll. Needless to say I hit my face off the gate hard enough to break my nose and split one of my eyelids from one side to the other. Me and my pal went to the nearest neighbour who screamed her nut off when she answered the door, apparently looked like my face had caved in.
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intactradio said:
i didn't realise that you sustained injury, ally. dang.
edit: also mightily hilarious. (sorry!)
I'm placing 100% of the blame on you (well, your terribly high saddle) :p
It was hilarious, and totally worth it.
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I was dressed up as bender at halloween about 4 years ago. Full big box costue, it was awesome.
I decided that bender could fly and launched off a 12ft garage. Bender cant fly. Ended up with both ankles swollen hugely, fractures on my heel too. Couldnt walk for a week and o this day i still have issues with my left ankle where i feels like it "clicks out of place".
When i was a nipper, i thought throwing my grans dogs bone in the air and heading it was a good idea... knocked out and blood everywhere at the age of 5 at a family bbq.
Age 10, after watching extreme sports i begged my dad for a skateboard. It was great.. i was rolling around the concrete bit beside my house. Then i though, wait i can grind a branch on a tree.. climbed up and essentially just tried to jump on a branch with my skateboard. That didnt go well.
Parents always said i was a bit mental as a child, i'm pretty lucky i never broke any bones. -
trailstar said:
When i was a nipper, i thought throwing my grans dogs bone in the air and heading it was a good idea... knocked out and blood everywhere at the age of 5 at a family bbq.
Parents always said i was a bit mental as a child, i'm pretty lucky i never broke any bones.
thats brill ,a classic
=)) -
Back when I played ice hockey thinking about it that was 9 years ago damnit I'm getting old, any way I'm getting off topic, well to put it bluntly I tryed to take a running start from the side onto the ice forgetting that I had neglected to remove my blade gaurds the resulting splits I accidently performed left me walking like I had just get off a horse after a 3 hour ride all week.
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Just got a nice couple of stitches next to my eye thanks to a Police car slamming its brakes on without warning right after me pulling in behind it on Sauchiehall, flipped over the handlebars in an attempt no to pile into the back of it.
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Hope you're ok Dan. What did plod have to say about it?
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nowt, didn't even stop
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Ah right, did you not hit the car?
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No, flew up in the air and landed just behind it, they must have noticed the flailing cyclist and big group of people who rushed to my aid otherwise they are bloody oblivious to the road around them. I even made eye contact with the driver and passenger before they passed and I pulled in behind so they must have known I was there.
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shit.... report the fuckers...
Hope it heals soon... I nearly did the same yesterday cycling through KG and some 5 year old ran in front of me as I was coming down the hill... Lucky I have a front brake, but I nose wheelied... -
Was the front brake, insufficient skid/skid space and subsequent nose wheelie that caused me to to land face first
pic: not so bad once the blood was cleaned from the rest of my face, right shows it after the bits of Sauchiehall st where picked out and I was glued/sewn back together.
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It will look cool in a month or 2 as a bonus! but seriously looks nasty.
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hope you heal fast, dan. sounds like a really bad night.
my tale lies more to the embarrassing side than the battle scar side of the spectrum of this thread.
long story short: who is the idiot who tried to cycle out to stenhousemuir without a spare tube?
i'm the idiot.
i was stranded on the canal path somewhere outside bonnybridge nursing a puncture. fortunately i knew someone in the area who is taking care of my bike until i can get back out tomorrow with a new tube. lesson learned. -
I thought you would have used the carpark incident as your opening gambit.
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Bad luck Dan - hope you're OK!
I've had many an embarrassing spill but the most photogenic one happened when I looked back to see where the people behind me were, bike veered into the curb, bike hit curb, bike toppled my knees into the road, road went into my knees. Kept riding another 15 miles or so to reach Stirling mostly with thanks to encouraging assistance from Josh and the patience of you others. One year on and the scar remains, my swim wear modelling career in tatters.
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chicks dig scars Iona
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Well that's nice.
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This reminded me of cycling into the back of a parked van trying to see if my rear light was on.... headbutted the door, and flew round the side of it. I was totally fine if not totally embarrassed haha
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isersmalone said:
ouch!!!
demagawd said:This reminded me of cycling into the back of a parked van trying to see if my rear light was on.... headbutted the door, and flew round the side of it. I was totally fine if not totally embarrassed haha
sorry, but this made me =)) -
I looked like a total fanny, luckily nobody seemed to notice.
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Was about 16, hurtling down a bike path in a forest, all of a sudden I was smashed back to the floor and knocked out.. Some swine had tied a washing line between two trees either side of the path.. Took it straight across the mouth, gave me a pretty mean Chelsea smile luckily just inside the mouth and tore under my Tongue. Was a horrible experience and thinking about it always makes me a bit queezy....
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fucking hell!
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thats bloody evil that is.
i lost my chain descending the tak on fixed. had to remove the wheel to unwrap chain but it had wedged in a tight loop so needed a chain splitter to sort it. decided id sort it at the bottom of the hill so put the wheel back in the dropouts and tightened the nuts finger tight. voice in my head told me it was silly but thought the twenty seconds saved not using the spanner was worth the risk. got down to the houses at the entrance to the golf club snd the wheel camr shooting out the dropouts and i went slithering down the road in a slightly less elegant obree superman position. lucky to avoid personal injury but destroyed chainring and had to phone dad for lift home and explain what happened. cue deep intakes of breath and shaking of head.
have also been to two gary glitter concerts but in self defence it was before he was outed as a paedo -
Thats horrible, lucky you weren't decapitated....
Gary Glitter.... now that is bad... haha -
not on the road but.... in the days of riding the d.h bike, riding a trail with a right hand corner over an old wire fence. I ride over and straighten up, the bike stops dead but, as inline with the laws of physics, i carry on face first into a large boulder at some speed.
A freak hooped piece of wire had perfectly lassoed by pedal. -
ouch....
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talk of embarrassments, can someone please spell it right in the title of this thread!!
speaking of such things. all red faced now!! -
JackEasy said:
talk of embarassments, can someone please spell it right in the title of this thread!!
um... you've also spelled embarrassments incorrectly. -
I'd like to say it was to be ironic but I'll have to admit I'm just dyslexic :P
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had a pedal strap "fail" moment the other day which caused my mates no end of merriment as i fell sideways in slow motion.
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That reminded me of trying to take off fast at a set of lights to overtake a girl round a corner..... she was going straight and in the process I slowly ran into her bike and started falling, but with my feet strapped in, Luckily I somehow managed to salvage it and got back up without falling (due to the fact she was supporting me) and cycled away saying sorry.
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It winds me right up when people (men) automatically assume they have to overtake girls waiting at traffic lights. And then do things like overtake on corners...
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s/people/drivers/
s/men/idiots/
s/girls/cyclists/ -
To be fair I was overtaking anyone that day, it just happened to be a girl. Plus she was in the wrong lane.
